“Brules are bullshit rules that we adopt to simplify our understanding of the
world”(definition by Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley)
We all believe that we should live according to certain beliefs or habits.
But when these rules are taken up through conditioning or imitation, they can hold us back!
If you suffer from rules that are not yours, or want to learn whether you do, please read on 🙂
Yesterday, I spoke to a friend how the concepts of society obstruct us from living the life we truly desire.
How we sometimes blindly follow the path that everyone follows.
How we adjust to be ‘normal’, play it safe, prevent being judged.
How, as a consequence, some of these brules make us really unhappy.
Examples of brules:
- Every woman should have a man
- You need to have children to live a meaningful life
- Working from 9-to-5 is how it should be
- Having success in your job means working hard
- The pursuit of money is bad
- University education is necessary to have a decent career
Research is showing us that these statements are not necessarily true. But more importantly, people experience pain
from it. Do you start seeing brules that are holding YOU back? We did.
Some of our brules
My friend – a lesbian in her early 30’s- told me that till a few years ago she tried to fit in society by dating a man and thinking about having children together.
Now she sees that this was not her rule, but a brule defined by previous conditioning that every woman should have a man. And she – although she did not find a partner yet – is happily dating women now.
One of my brules wass that a job is about working hard, and not having any fun. Which made me push harder and harder, till almost reaching a burnout 2 years ago. I never enjoyed chatting with colleagues as there was always something ‘ more important to do’. Till I discovered the importance of communication and interpersonal relationships to have success!
How did we take up these brules:
- Childhood indoctrination: through parents and in community
- Authority figures: through teachers in schools, priests, etc
- Desire to fit into a group: political party, religious group, etc
And how to step out of them:
- See the pattern. Research has shown that you can only start seeing something, once you have a word for it. Until then, things remain invisible.
- Start questioning the brules. Question what others tell you to do. Discard the rules taken up through imitation, cultural influences of the past. Set your own rules
- Watch inspirational leaders and businesses, and step into new models.
If you want to learn more, watch this Mindvalley movie or the book The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms, written by Vishen Lakhiani
Remember, your brule IS NOT YOU.
You can uninstall a bad brule – and install a good rule – today.
It is completely within your control!